Taco Bell

Ok so I really just wanted somewhere where I could vent about the important things in life. Which naturally brings me to Taco Bell for my first entry.

I am going to admit up front that I have been on an anti-diet this week. That lead to me eating at the 'bell both yesterday and today.

So yesterday before work I pull up to the Taylor Mill Taco Bell/KFC. Now I am not a fan of combining the two. This is because I am always forced to make the decision at the drive-thru. Even if I go in wanting KFC, I end up ordering Taco Bell because I like it better. But this isn't fair to me or KFC, because I do think KFC is delicious and deserving of my patronage. However, with this set up I am not ordering KFC anytime soon.

Anyway, I haven't eaten anything but slimfast in weeks. So I go to the 'bell to order my favorite food EVER. This is the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl. Now let's describe this culinary gem for a moment. The Zesty Chicken Border Bowl, or ZCBB, is comprised of Taco Bell's delicious refried beans and Mexican rice, chicken, lettuce, fiesta salsa, tortilla chips, a blend of cheeses, and this delicious zesty ceasar dressing.

So I order it. THEY DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE????

Look here, Taco Bell. Why would you not carry the most delicious dish the entire restaurant industry has to offer? This is simply ridiculous. It's not like it costs more money to keep it on the menu. You already use these ingredients for other menu items, less the dressing. This is ludacris.

So I order my second favorite menu item, a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, and a T-10, which is a chicken quesadilla and a hard taco. Let me digress for a moment. The cheese in the quesadilla I receive is not fully melted. It's basically like they threw shredded cheese in with chunks of chicken. NO GOOD.

So today comes along and I don't eat anything all day because I am anticipating a Taco feast after class. I roll up to the Taco Bell in Clifton. For those of you not from the Cincinnati area, let me describe Clifton for you. Clifton is the shittiest town EVER. It is where the University of Cincinnati is located. It is super ghetto, homeless people are everywhere. There are ALWAYS cop sirens blaring. No one knows how to drive. There's never any parking spots. It's filled with drunken idiot college kids. The buildings are slowly turning into piles of bricks. It's awful.

So anyway. Just my luck, Ghetto Bell has the ZCBB. I'm estatic. My anti-dieting self orders this wonderful dish, and goes to order a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. NOT ON THE MENU. What the hell Taco Bell? Can you please just keep one menu? Especially with locations within 20 minutes of each other? That includes your two best menu items? Like I said, it's not like either of these involve exotic ingredients.

Whatever. I order my ZCBB, a double decker taco, and a bean burrito and jet the fuck out of Clifton.

So I'm feeling around the bag and I realized they put my ZCBB in one of the Fully Loaded Nachos containers. At first I'm stoked that this means more Taco Bell for me. I realized quickly that though it is wider, it is more shallow and SUCKS to eat out of. Furthermore, they made my ZCBB all wrong. It included these ingredients: Beans, Rice, Chicken, a SHIT TON of lettuce, cheese, and fiesta salsa. It was missing what makes it so delicious: The crispy tortilla chips and the zesty ceasar dressing. It was simply awful.

So here are my conclusions:
1. Don't spend any time in Clifton if you can avoid it. If you want Taco Bell, try to get it at another location. If this is not possible, be prepared for a total fuck up to take your order and make your food.
2. Taco Bell: Please have a uniform menu containing both the Cheesy Gordita Crunch AND the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl. I am spending less money on my Taco Bell feasts than either of us would like.
3. Taco Bell Employees: Make my meal right. I don't mind waiting the extra 5 seconds for you to double check the instructions on how to make my menu item and put the right ingredients in there and/or to put my quesadilla in the grill press until the cheese melts.
4. I maintain that, when prepared correctly, the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl is the most delicious dish in the entire world.

Thank you,
Kalin Rheanne