My WTF night

1. Adult Swim commercial for the Mighty Boosh says Sundays at 1:00 AM. According to the internet schedule, it was supposed to be 5:00 AM Sunday night. I could have totally caught it! UGH. (For those who don't know, I am OBSESSED with the British comedy show the Mighty Boosh. I have a $150 painting in my room I had imported from the UK of the duo. I have all 3 Series [i.e. seasons.] I bought a multi-region DVD player in order to be able to watch my DVDs on the tele. I know everything about the Mighty Boosh. Finding out it was coming to American television was pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I thought it wasn't on until 5:00 AM.)


2. My dad is at a show (you know, ones where good bands play) with other managers, VPs, and execs from the brokerage firm I work for. I have a weak spot for little emo boys.
Dad sends me a picture of some dude at a concert that I can't see. I go, "what's that?"
Dad: "An emo boy in Columbus."
Me:"Lol ok..."
Then later I get another text,
Dad: "I gave Zach your number." <------WTF MOMENT
Me: "Who's Zach?!"
Dad: "At the concert. He is an emo boy majoring in business at OSU. I told him about you. He wanted your number."
Me: "Do you know this Zach fellow? What band is playing?"
Dad: "Gaslite Anthem"
Me: "I hope he calls that'd be a great story."
Dad: "He said he would but didn't know what to say I said tell her Joe said to call cuz u r an emo boy." (I have generally corrected bad grammar and spelling thus far, but I feel the "u r" had a certain... feel to it that "you are" does not.) <------WTF MOMENT
Me: "Haha amazing."
Dad: "What?"
Me: "How did you start talking to said emo boy?"
Dad: "He talked to me 1st as an emo would." <------WTF MOMENT
Me: "How did said emo boy start talking to you?"
Dad: "I was minding my own business talking about how the lead singer in the Heartless Bastards was so good."


3. I update my status to report my confusion for WTF incident number two, and my cousin Lindsay tells me how funny it is via facebook IM. Then I get an instant message on AIM....

artsyguurrl12 (11:11:01 PM): Because I am creepy and because i can - i want to use another media through which to tell you that your fb status cracks me up. P.S. who are these guys your dad is picking up for you??


4. My cousin Zander and I both try to go to sleep [early] around 1 AM. At 3 AM we are both on the internet. We have a DOUBLE FAIL. During our conversation, this happens...

Sexy Zander 911 (3:46:29 AM): kalin, we do that sometimes...
kalin rheanne (3:46:35 AM): do not
Sexy Zander 911 (3:46:40 AM): do so
kalin rheanne (3:46:45 AM): nuh uh
Sexy Zander 911 (3:46:56 AM): yes, we really do...
kalin rheanne (3:47:00 AM): when
Sexy Zander 911 (3:47:13 AM): idk but we've obviously done it
kalin rheanne (3:47:21 AM): we have not
Sexy Zander 911 (3:47:26 AM): yes we have
kalin rheanne (3:47:31 AM): WHEN
Sexy Zander 911 (3:47:43 AM): IDFK BUT THINK ABOUT IT, WE'RE RETARDED, I'M SURE WE HAVE
kalin rheanne (3:47:53 AM): HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
kalin rheanne (3:47:54 AM): LMFAO
Sexy Zander 911 (3:48:06 AM): MY POINT EXACTLY


5. This guy (http://profile.ak.facebook.com/profile6/1078/62/s1454795860_8748.jpg) friend requests me!!!

WTF.

P4CM

Sometimes I wonder why people don't like Christians, and/or why Christianity is so unpopular these days. And then I come across groups like P4CM, and I find my answer: Christians these days can be really douchey.

P4CM stands for "Passion for the Christ Movement." This is basically a non-denominational Christion church group based in Los Angeles, California that has a large focus on trying to lead people to Christianity. This is not my problem. I am going to focus on a specific "missionary project" that P4CM is working on, because I feel it encompasses the complete douchey-ness of this organization.

P4CM has created a line of t-shirts that are designed to provoke questions. These t-shirts are called the Ex-Series. They say things like, "Ex-Slave," "Ex-Rebel,"Ex-Diva," "Ex-Hypocrite," "Ex-Fornicator," "Ex-Porn Addict," "Ex-Homosexual," and my personal favorite, "Ex-Masturbator." An example of this fashion line:













Feel free to laugh at the irony.

So here is my reaction to this fashion line and P4CM in general. (If you don't understand where I'm coming from on some issues, visit their Facebook group: http://tinyurl.com/bqxsp8 and watch the videos.)

I like to picture Jesus Christ as a pretty easy going guy. I think that His attitude was along the lines of, "Here I am world, I'm going to die for your sins now. If you choose to accept it, feel free to ask for forgiveness and I'll let you into Heaven and it'll be killer." P4CM's take on Jesus' attitude, "DUDE. HELL SUCKS. You are pretty much a terrible person if you sin, and if you don't surrender to me IMMEDIATELY, you will be forced to an eternity in a firey pit. No Heaven for you, sorry bud!"

So, we are supposed to be Christ-like, as stated in the Bible. No, I am not going to give you the passage because I am not a walking Bible. Find it yourself, it's somewhere in there. So first of all, we're not going to go condemning people for their sins. We're not going to interview people, and act like we applaud them for being Christian, then denounce them for their associations (douchey interview.)

And now I come to the t-shirts. The stupid, douchey, horrible t-shirts. P4CM is, like many Christians today, turning Christianity into a fashion statement by doing this. FIRST OF ALL, they are begging for attention by wearing these shirts. Jesus Christ did some pretty baller things, but I'm pretty sure he never walked around in a "Moses is my homeboy" shirt or, of course, an "Ex-Masturbator shirt" (though the latter is debateable.) Jesus Christ did not flaunt, he did not argue, he did not scold, denounce, or make anyone feel like shit intentionally, and he most certainly did not walk around in BOLD (these douche bags always caps the word for some reason) clothing in order to try to bring people to the light. BE LIKE JESUS. BE HUMBLE. PLEASE.

As for some of the "sins" they denounce actually being sins, well that's another topic for another time. Visit the aforementioned facebook page for more insight to the absolute ridiculousness of this organization, or you can visit their (clearly well designed as to draw more people to Christianity) website, http://p4cm.com.

And this is just funny: http://tinyurl.com/daet3t.

Good day,
Kalin

Grammar Lesson

So lately it seems like we have been lacking in the grammar department. I speak with my friends on the via internet and text often due to distance and scheduling issues. The lack in attention to grammar is really pushing my buttons here. Now I must say that my friends are generally well educated, intelligent human beings. Some even pay attention to grammar most of the time. But there is one grammatical issue that is really pissing me off that NO ONE seems to have the grasp of. So here I am. Giving you the lesson on how to use the proper "your/you're." This will also help save the whales.

I will start off with some definitions:

your:

/yʊər, yɔr, yoʊr; unstressed yər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [yoor, yawr, yohr; unstressed yer]

–pronoun
1.
(a form of the possessive case of you used as an attributive adjective): Your jacket is in that closet. I like your idea. Compare yours.
2.
one's (used to indicate that one belonging to oneself or to any person): The consulate is your best source of information. As you go down the hill, the library is on your left.
3.
(used informally to indicate all members of a group, occupation, etc., or things of a particular type): Take your factory worker, for instance. Your power brakes don't need that much servicing.

you're:

/yʊər; unstressed yər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [yoor; unstressed yer]

contraction of you are: You're certain that's right?

So, as you can see, if you are using the contraction of "you are" you will use "you're." If you are indicating possession, you will use "your."

Now, let's see if my friends can do it right:

goesMOO 7x (8:17:41 PM): how was your day?

Is this correct? YES Heather asks me how "my" day was, which indicated possession. Thus, she was correct in using "your." Congratulations Heather.

afipanic (11:51:02 PM): YOUR my bfflez too

Is this correct? NO Matt is indicating that I "am" his best friend forever. However, he does not use the contraction "you're." Instead he indicated possession. I am sorry Matt, but you are incorrect. Try again.

Zander 911 (11:02:04 PM):keep a knife under your bed

Is this correct: YES Zander suggests I should keep a knife under "my" bed. Indicating possession by using "your" is the correct use in this case. Good job cousin.

floundr (12:43:08 AM):come play rockband some time or catch a movie at my place, your more than welcome to come chillax

Is this correct?: NO Weston very kindly tells me that I "am" welcome to come chillax. However, instead of using the contraction "you're," he indicates possession using "your." This is wrong.

Now that we have defined both your and you're and given examples of correct and incorrect usage, let's play a game! Try to figure our the correct use of "you/you're" in the following sentences. Answers at the end of the blog!

1. What is (your/you're) name?

2. (Your/you're) a total slut.

3. I think (your/you're) pretty stupid, but I think (your/you're) jokes are funny anyway.

4. I love (your/you're) mom.

5. Why aren't you doing what (your/you're) supposed to do?

I hope this has been informative for you. Next time you use the word "your" or "you're," take an extra second to make sure you use the correct one. This will make the world a better place and save the whales.

Thank you,

Kalin Rheanne

answers: 1. your 2. you're 3. you're, your 4. your 5. you're

Taco Bell

Ok so I really just wanted somewhere where I could vent about the important things in life. Which naturally brings me to Taco Bell for my first entry.

I am going to admit up front that I have been on an anti-diet this week. That lead to me eating at the 'bell both yesterday and today.

So yesterday before work I pull up to the Taylor Mill Taco Bell/KFC. Now I am not a fan of combining the two. This is because I am always forced to make the decision at the drive-thru. Even if I go in wanting KFC, I end up ordering Taco Bell because I like it better. But this isn't fair to me or KFC, because I do think KFC is delicious and deserving of my patronage. However, with this set up I am not ordering KFC anytime soon.

Anyway, I haven't eaten anything but slimfast in weeks. So I go to the 'bell to order my favorite food EVER. This is the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl. Now let's describe this culinary gem for a moment. The Zesty Chicken Border Bowl, or ZCBB, is comprised of Taco Bell's delicious refried beans and Mexican rice, chicken, lettuce, fiesta salsa, tortilla chips, a blend of cheeses, and this delicious zesty ceasar dressing.

So I order it. THEY DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE????

Look here, Taco Bell. Why would you not carry the most delicious dish the entire restaurant industry has to offer? This is simply ridiculous. It's not like it costs more money to keep it on the menu. You already use these ingredients for other menu items, less the dressing. This is ludacris.

So I order my second favorite menu item, a Cheesy Gordita Crunch, and a T-10, which is a chicken quesadilla and a hard taco. Let me digress for a moment. The cheese in the quesadilla I receive is not fully melted. It's basically like they threw shredded cheese in with chunks of chicken. NO GOOD.

So today comes along and I don't eat anything all day because I am anticipating a Taco feast after class. I roll up to the Taco Bell in Clifton. For those of you not from the Cincinnati area, let me describe Clifton for you. Clifton is the shittiest town EVER. It is where the University of Cincinnati is located. It is super ghetto, homeless people are everywhere. There are ALWAYS cop sirens blaring. No one knows how to drive. There's never any parking spots. It's filled with drunken idiot college kids. The buildings are slowly turning into piles of bricks. It's awful.

So anyway. Just my luck, Ghetto Bell has the ZCBB. I'm estatic. My anti-dieting self orders this wonderful dish, and goes to order a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. NOT ON THE MENU. What the hell Taco Bell? Can you please just keep one menu? Especially with locations within 20 minutes of each other? That includes your two best menu items? Like I said, it's not like either of these involve exotic ingredients.

Whatever. I order my ZCBB, a double decker taco, and a bean burrito and jet the fuck out of Clifton.

So I'm feeling around the bag and I realized they put my ZCBB in one of the Fully Loaded Nachos containers. At first I'm stoked that this means more Taco Bell for me. I realized quickly that though it is wider, it is more shallow and SUCKS to eat out of. Furthermore, they made my ZCBB all wrong. It included these ingredients: Beans, Rice, Chicken, a SHIT TON of lettuce, cheese, and fiesta salsa. It was missing what makes it so delicious: The crispy tortilla chips and the zesty ceasar dressing. It was simply awful.

So here are my conclusions:
1. Don't spend any time in Clifton if you can avoid it. If you want Taco Bell, try to get it at another location. If this is not possible, be prepared for a total fuck up to take your order and make your food.
2. Taco Bell: Please have a uniform menu containing both the Cheesy Gordita Crunch AND the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl. I am spending less money on my Taco Bell feasts than either of us would like.
3. Taco Bell Employees: Make my meal right. I don't mind waiting the extra 5 seconds for you to double check the instructions on how to make my menu item and put the right ingredients in there and/or to put my quesadilla in the grill press until the cheese melts.
4. I maintain that, when prepared correctly, the Zesty Chicken Border Bowl is the most delicious dish in the entire world.

Thank you,
Kalin Rheanne