I am going to periodically post life lessons from now on. I feel it is important to remind myself of all of the things not to do, or to do, or whatever. And, also, sharing my wisdom is important. I'm always learning, hurray!
1. First of all, being responsible is hard. It requires you to do lame things instead of fun things. But sometimes when you do fun things, the lame things become even lamer. I do not want to drive 20 minutes to go to the doctor, but I sure as hell don't want to do it tired and hungover. I don't want to do my homework, but if I'm tired and hungover it won't get finished. I don't want to go to class, but if I'm tired and hungover the projector screen will give me the worst headache of my adult life. So, what I'm saying is, don't get hungover.
2. You know how you know if I hate you? You have a penis. This is true, I don't mind generalizing. Sometimes guys think it's ok to call you in the middle of the night because they think you will sleep with them EVEN AFTER you have sent all the signals possible suggesting otherwise. Thus, you have to turn off your phone at night, even if you don't want to miss a call in the morning. Lesson here: Boys are lame. Also, boys will always think they're leading you on, even if you are the one doing the manipulating. They will always think you care more than you actually do. Here's a life lesson for all the boys out there: I don't fucking care about you. You won't hurt my feelings if you don't call me or answer my calls, I don't care if you have a girlfriend, I don't care if I don't hang out with you for days or weeks or months, I don't spend my time thinking about you, I don't cry if you say mean things. Tell me the fucking truth, stop trying to lead me on when it's not working in the first place since I DON'T CARE.
3. If boys are lame, girls are psycho. I'm not trying to have sex with your boyfriend because I say, "Hey, what's up?" Also, since when are girls blamed for everything guys have an equal part in? Seriously, stop being so sexist, GIRLS. I think they are more sexist than men sometimes. If I don't care about your boyfriend, I certainly don't care about you. I don't care what you think of me, I don't care what you say to me, I don't care if you are dating whoever, I don't care if you exist or do not exist. Nothing you say to me will piss me off because I DON'T CARE. I have enough things to worry about in my life to try to cat fight, so ladies (actually, not ladies, girls): Chill the fuck out.
4. Different friends handle situations in different ways. This is why we have multiple friends. Some friends may surprise you with how much they care. Some friends may surprise you by seemingly not caring. If you are going through a rough spot, it's important to think about what you want to get out of venting to someone, and who to vent to. On a serious note, all of my friends have been really great lately, and I couldn't ask for better ones.
5. Beer and fast food cost money and make you fat. I know everyone always says this, but I guess I have finally found out it is true. I must make my decision as to which vice to give up. I'm choosing fast food.
Thank you,
Kalin Rheanne
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