Life Lessons 12/23/09

I haven't posted in awhile. There are two reasons for this. This first one is that nobody reads my blog. The second reason is that I forgot I had a blog.

However, while reading my previous post I remembered that I am supposed to be doling out life lessons here. Now, there will be a lot more of these you can read in my book that should be finished sometime within the next six months, God willing. And I've gotten pretty far this time with the help of complete assholes and the motivation of my friends.

So, anyway, enough of that. Here is what you all haven't been waiting for, more life lessons from K-Peezy.

1. My intuition is always right (I don't know if yours is, so just go with mine for now.) Seriously, I can honestly say that I can read a situation down to the smallest details in most cases. By looking at a person I can tell what kind of person they are, and I'm not talking about stereotypes. It takes about five minutes of observation to develop a basic understanding of a person and about two hours to develop my opinion of them. First impressions with me are everything.

I will not go into specifics for fear of hurting certain peoples' feelings, but I learned this by recently attending a party. To be fair, I learned about this person ahead of time through some gossip from a couple different people. I had already formulated an opinion, but I was open to giving her a chance. One look told me she was an attention, and regular kind, of whore, and I predicted her exact actions for the rest of the night. That's skill.

So the life lesson here is trust your intuition, or at least trust mine.

2. My intuition is not always right, though it usually is. I have had enough life experience and interpersonal relationships in my day to understand the basic types, actions, and emotions of human beings. However, there are some types of humans (i.e. good, moral people) that I have not spent a lot of time with and don't understand. This was revealed to me today. The lesson being that there are some things you might like to be wrong about.

3. Don't rush into relationships, and don't try. There's no reason to go to a bar to pick up guys or to try to plot ways to get guys to like you. It will only result in failure. Treat the opposite sex as you would the same sex, and maybe some day you might meet someone who is genuine and a good person. You probably won't, but you can try.

4. Conspiracy theories are awesome. There, I said it. I love conspiracy theories.

5. DRUNK DIALING AND TEXTING IS VERY BAD. IT WILL MAKE YOU LOSE FRIENDS AND LOSE ALL HOPE YOU HAVE WITH ANY GUY. IT IS NORMAL FOR A GUY TO THINK YOU WANT A BOOTY CALL IF YOU TEXT HIM AT THREE AM. I don't care if you just want a ride or a place to crash or someone to talk to, DON'T DRUNK DIAL OR TEXT. If necessary, drunk dial or text your FRIENDS who are FEMALE (or male for males, or female for gay males, or males for gay females, and if you're bi, you're fucked.) Seriously guys. Drunk dialers are not desireable people. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON YOU WILL EVER LEARN, EVER!!!!!!

I hope you have learned well.

Until next time,

K